


Desperation

by sparklyfaerie



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: F/M, in which Tohru is not good at dealing with her feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:29:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26796655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklyfaerie/pseuds/sparklyfaerie
Summary: She pushes it down, boxes it up and shuts the lid tight.(If she doesn’t name it, she doesn’t have to deal with it. She can pretend it doesn’t exist.)
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	Desperation

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a short sexual tension fic but my hand slipped. Oops?

Her skin burns when Kyo-kun touches her, lately; the heat of his hand is like a branding iron that torments her long after their skin breaks contact, seeping into her pores and lingering in the flush of her cheeks. It makes her antsy, leaving her off-kilter and ~~unwilling~~ unable to name the feeling that settles deep in her belly at his proximity.

~~If she doesn’t name it, she doesn’t have to deal with it. She can pretend it doesn’t exist.~~

Long, thin fingers wrap around her wrist and tug her along the sidewalk, and it’s then that she realises she’s spaced out and stopped moving in the middle of walking home. He doesn’t say anything, his grip relaxing and falling away as soon as her feet start moving again; eyes ever ahead, taking no time to so much as glance at the girl at his side. She feels the phantom heat of his touch ghost up her arm and settle in her chest, a sweet ache that leaves her feeling like crying. But she pushes it down, boxes it up and shuts the lid tight.

~~Not today.~~

She sneaks glances at him through her lashes, eyes taking in the way the late afternoon sunlight catches on his hair; a halo of fire envelops him in her mind’s eye, and she feels her chest constrict. Sometimes she wonders how the other girls at school can think Yuki-kun is the most handsome when Kyo-kun is _right there_. Yuki-kun’s features are beautiful, it’s true, but Kyo-kun… he’s so handsome, she doesn’t know how to deal with it lately. His smiles make her heart flutter. His eyes pierce right through her—sometimes she’s convinced he can see right down to her soul; that he knows the improper thoughts she’s been starting to have about him lately.

Kind, sensitive Kyo-kun, who is probably her best friend in the world.

~~Sometimes it gets too much, and she has to make an excuse to retreat, to lock herself in her room. It’s only there that she allows herself to indulge, hands wandering to places that she’ll feel ashamed of later, when she’s calmed down and is sitting next to him at the dinner table.~~

Whatever it is she feels, she knows it’s not mutual. Kyo-kun has never been shy about saying how he feels; he’s as straightforward as they come. She knows she’s precious to him; a good friend, someone that he cares for and looks after in his own rough way. But there’s no indication of the deep longing that grips her in his presence. He’s as sweet as ever, helping her with her homework when Yuki-kun is too busy and encouraging her when she’s feeling down, and she tries to be grateful. She really does.

~~But it’s not enough, and she hates it, sometimes.~~

And as time continues to move on and the invisible deadline of graduation draws ever closer, panic begins to grip her insides when she thinks of him in that tiny, dark room. Kyo-kun, she thinks, would wilt and wither away there. She gives herself nightmares some nights, imagining him curled up in the dark, eyes blank and lips straight. Never to smile again. Never to tap her on the head and tell her to be selfish sometimes, to give her warm words of encouragement or keep her company while she does chores around the house.

~~She imagines a future for herself without him in it and feels a deep, gnawing, aching dread at the idea.~~

She’s reached out to other Sohmas, trying to find a way to free ~~him~~ them. Isuzu-san doesn’t know. Shishou-san doesn’t know. She’s too afraid to ask any of the others; besides, if the two who are actively searching for a way to either break the curse or forego Kyo-kun’s confinement don’t know, then who would? She considers Isuzu-san’s suspicions that Shigure-san might know, but he’s dodged her when she’s asked about the curse before.

~~Time’s running out. She’s going to lose him, too. Akito-san will take him away from her.~~

“What’s on your mind?” Kyo-kun finally speaks, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “You’re quieter than normal.”

~~Her heart rises into her throat.~~

Her fists clench around the sides of her skirt. “Nothing much.” She lies, voice high and warbling. “I was just wondering what to make for dinner. Is there anything in particular you’d like?”

He doesn’t believe her, she can tell. He gives her a look that says he’s very aware of her lie, but is letting it slide. He knows she’ll talk to him when she’s ready; she usually does.

~~Not this time, though. How can she talk to him about _this_?~~

~~She loves him so much.~~

~~She hopes her mother will forgive her for not keeping her promise.~~


End file.
